Rumour Blogging for Dummies

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Do you ever feel like everyone around you has NHL scoops? Get the feeling that you’re the only one without sources about rumours? Feeling unpopular and bullied? Do you like role play? Feel the need to be popular and appreciated? It’s easy. Become a Rumour Blogger!

Rumour blogging is becoming more and more popular, as shown by the number of them coming out of the woodworks in the past couple of years. Move over Eklund, you have company, as more regular Joe’s want to take advantage of people’s naïve nature to make themselves look important!

But how does someone become a Rumour Blogger? I’ve created an easy to follow, step by step guide to help you do just that. Try it, it’s really simple!

 

  • Create a username. Don’t use your real name and ensure no one finds out, at all cost;

 

  • Get a Twitter account. A web site to post on is preferable, especially if you can edit at a later date, but optional;
  • Find at least one big, gullible and desperate fan base and focus on them mostly, especially when you’re in dire need of attention;

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  • Proper spelling is preferred, but not crucial as people are so desperate for juicy rumours, that they will overlook the fact that GM’s, scouts or other personnel would want their message written by an illiterate;
  • Don’t give too much information. The more info you give, the higher the risk of getting caught in a lie;
  • Be vague, yet leave some meat on the bone;
  • Tell your followers not to believe everything that’s out there, but insist that they should trust YOU as you’re not like others;
  • Once in a while, make something up to be the first to come out with that rumour, so that people don’t think you’re stealing from others. You’ll be surprised to see how many others will say they’ve heard the same thing;
  • Come up with a rumour quoting one source, and then contradict that rumour a few days later saying you got information from another source. You can’t lose that way;
  • Often mention that you can’t divulge your source not to burn them or compromise their job;
  • Agree with some other rumours, other times say that you haven’t heard that;
  • Pretend to have appointments with your sources, meeting, phone calls. This will bring credibility to the untrained eye;
  • Often use the line that most rumours don’t result in trades. People can defeat that no matter how hard they try;
  • Make sure to use the canned answers: “Cap space can be cleared” and “don’t shoot the messenger”. It’s an easy cope out of difficult situations when confronted;
  • If they catch you in a lie, ask them why they’re following you if they don’t want to believe;
  • Tweet something immediately after a traditional media or another insider. If someone challenges you, pretend you didn’t see it or that you have the same info, so it must be true;
  • Re-tweet everyone who agrees with you. While it may not add to your credibility, showing the world that some are gullible to believe you will make you feel better;
  • Make sure to piggy back what others are reporting, especially if it’s more than one. You wouldn’t want to be left out if it were to materialize;
  • Always claim to have a source better than your other ones. This will bring more attention to yourself when you feel the time is right, like at the trade deadline or at the amateur draft;
  • When a trade actually happens, pretend to have predicted it. People are lazy and won’t go check, some will concur;
  • And remember that the more crap you throw on the wall, some will eventually stick!

 

While I’ve created this guide in good humour, don’t think for one second that it isn’t true. GM’s and team officials don’t reveal information to that many people. Very few are legitimate and all claim to be the ones to be trusted.

In conclusion, I highly suggest you read The story of Dallas Dave, a Rumour Blogger who, after reaching some success, decided to come clean. Great story!

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NHL Player Safety Dropping the Ball

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Claude Lemieux, Sean Avery, Bobby Clarke, Matt Cooke, Dale Hunter, Ulf Samuelsson, Raffi Torres, Steve Downie, Bryan Marchment, Ken Liseman… When reading that list of names, what immediately comes to mind if you are a fan of the NHL? Yes, those players were all dirty, weaselly and underhanded and they have made a reputation with the way they played the game.

But also, all of those guys did, at one point or another, receive lengthily suspensions for their actions and many of them were not protected the way today’s players are, both by the rules and by the NHL itself. Since the new implementation of the Instigator Rule, rats are running free and in spite of a promise from the league to better reprimand the guilty, the powers at be are simply dropping the ball instead. Players have never been as vulnerable to a new race of players: the Rats under the NHL Players’ Safety protection program!

And none is benefiting more from that protection than the biggest rat of all in today’s hockey: Brad Marchand. You don’t believe me? Look for yourself!

So why is the NHL protecting that guy so much? Just before the All-Star break, Marchand was issued a $10,000 fine for his cheap shot on Niklas Kronwall. A week or so later, he shows that he hasn’t learned his lessons and does the same to Tampa Bay Lightning’s defenseman Anton Stralman. And what does the NHL Player Safety do? Nothing. That’s right, no fine, no suspension, nothing!

There has to be something going on here. There have to be Governors around the league wondering why this guy is allowed to do what he does, and players from their own teams are being suspended for what sometimes appear to be much less, and without being repeat offenders! I mean fans, coaches, reporters (other than the Bruins’) are all outraged of what certainly appears to be a huge case of injustice and even favouritism. Does Bruins’ owner Jeremy Jacobs have some compromising pictures of league commissioner Gary Bettman? We know that they are good friends but how can everyone around the NHL not raise a fuss about this?

In the meantime, players can’t defend themselves without putting their team in a very difficult position, in a league where a win or a loss is worth so much due to the parity. And yet, the league itself refuses to protect them! It’s a lose, lose situation… unless you are the Boston Bruins that is.